Kidnapped!
by Persiana13
Summary: When Satana's brother and Hellcat go missing, Satana goes to the West Coast Avengers for help.  Set in L1701E's Misfit-verse.
1. Chapter 1

**Kidnapped! **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. _

Chapter 1: Gone Missing! 

Damion Hellstorm, the red-headed young man known as the Son of Satan, strained as he carried numerous bags,

"Aren't you two done shopping yet?"

Satana, the other half-demon sibling, and Patsy Walker, the vibrant red-head heroine Hellcat, both looked at each other and laughed. The succubus shook her head,

"Oh, come on, now, Damion. Surely you don't expect us girls not to look our best."

Patsy added,

"Besides, this is a great way for us to spend some time. I bought some outfits that can be quite…hellraising!"  
>The two then began laughing at the pun, while the red-headed young man only groaned even more,<p>

"For the love of brimstone, can we at least stop for a second? I feel like I may collapse at any moment!"  
>Satana sighed,<p>

"Fine, you can sit on this bench while Patsy and I go into that store there. Remember, watch our bags, and, be sure to tell me when that hunk Crisis shows up."

Damion sat down and snarled behind the two girls' backs. He hated Crisis with a passion.

It was around this time that Leon Maxwell, the teen Avenger Crisis, was walking in his civilian clothes around the mall, alone. Earlier, he had snuck out of the mansion to buy his girlfriend a present. It was hard to do it, but Leon figured a way to do it…

**Flashback, earlier… **

Crisis floated around the hallways, past his other teammates. The hardest people to sneak by were Black Panther and Persiana on account of their heightened senses. The teen swordsman was able to sneak by T'challa's room with no problem, but he heard a yawn coming from Farrah's. The white-haired cat-girl was enjoying a long stretch after she got up and Leon quickly used his super speed and floated away. Farrah turned around, but she shook her head,

"Must have been the wind."

**End Flashback… **

Leon said to himself,

"I have to get back before the others think I've gone missing."

It did not take long before Damion Hellstorm noticed the young red-eyed hero and his face twisted in rage. He bellowed,

"CRISIS, KNEEL BEFORE THE SON OF SATAN!"  
>Leon groaned,<p>

"Oh, I did not need this today."

A pitchfork-like weapon appeared and Damion ripped his shirt off, revealing a pentagram. His eyes glowed with fury and, pointing the pitchfork weapon, fired a hellfire bolt. Crisis sped out of the way, shouting,

"You idiot! You're going to kill innocent people!"  
>Hellstorm shouted,<p>

"If that is the price, so be it!"

He lashed out again, but this time, Crisis sped as close as he could. Grabbing hold, he flew out of the building with Hellstorm in his clutches. The Son of Satan growled and launched a concussive blast, causing both of them to crash into the parking lot. Crisis fell down hard, making a crater on impact. Hellstorm landed swiftly on a car roof and began channeling a hellfire shot.

Hellcat tapped Satana on the shoulder,

"Uh, Satana. You might want to take a look at this."

Satana, who was holding a rather scandalous outfit, said,

"It can't be important."

Patsy shook her head,

"Oh, it is. That boy Crisis is here."  
>At this, the succubus spun around, gleefully cheering,<p>

"He is?"

Hellcat nodded,

"Yeah, and he's fighting my boyfriend!"  
>Satana growled,<p>

"Oh, that idiot brother of mine!"  
>Patsy cracked her knuckles,<p>

"I'll teach Crisis not to mess with my boyfriend!"

She touched a mystical pendant on her neck and turned into her into her Hellcat costume. Patsy then sprinted out of the mall and joined the fight.

Crisis braced himself for an attack,

"Damion, we don't have to fight! This isn't necessary!"

The pitchfork wielder hissed,

"Silence! I shall teach you not to defile my sister!"

Leon blinked,

"Defile? What?"

Before he could respond, Hellcat pounced,

"Stay away from my man!"  
>At the last second, Crisis grabbed her and threw her into her boyfriend. The two collided into each other and landed far away from each other.<p>

Satana floated down,

"Crisis, sweetie!"

The red-head cheered as she hugged him tightly,

"I love you!"

Leon looked at her, a bit surprised,

"Even though I threw your brother's girlfriend into him?"

Satana grinned,

"Trust me. She'll consider it forgiveness for trying to beat him up."

Crisis shook his head,

"He's the one trying to kill me!"

Suddenly, there was an explosion near where Hellcat and Hellstorm were and, as the two teens raced to find them, they both gazed into the crater that would have housed their bodies.

Instead, there was nothing…

Next Chapter:  
>What happened to the bodies? Are Hellcat and Hellstorm still alive? Stay tuned, fellow readers!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Kidnapped! **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. _

Chapter 2: Where are they? 

**At the Xavier Institute… **

Amara, the pyrokinetic mutant Magma, was busy brushing her hair. She was humming a song from her native Nova Roma when she thought she heard something behind her. The blonde turned and growled,

"Whoever is there, show yourself now."

There was an uneasy silence as no one seemed to respond to the princess' call. Amara shook her head,

"I must have imagined it."

She turned around and there, sitting on her dresser, was Pyro, an insane pyrokinetic mutant. He blew a kiss,

"Hey, Sheila! How are you, my beautiful fire goddess?"  
>Downstairs, Roberto DaCoasta, the solar powered mutant Sunspot, was strutting down the hall. He smirked, thinking he was going to get a date with the young princess. As he was about to ascend the stairs, however, Amara let loose a raging scream,<p>

"PYRO, I SHALL HAVE YOU BEHEADED FOR THIS!"  
>Pyro was on the run, shouting,<p>

"But, I love you! You're the only woman for me, Shiela!"  
>Amara pitched a fireball,<p>

"DON'T CALL ME SHEILA!"  
>The insane pyromaniac turned the fireball into a heart,<p>

"But, I love you!"

Roberto looked at the scene and blinked,

"Wow, and I thought Pyro trying to impress Firestar last week was something."

**Flashback… **

Angelica Jones, the microwave mutant Firestar, was strolling through the halls of Misfit Manor when she smelled smoke. She looked in the room and there Pyro was, in a chef's hat, with a cake made of fire. On the ceiling, it read,

'To my Fire Angel. Love Pyro!"

Angelica shrieked,

"LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU MANIAC!"  
><strong>Meanwhile, in San Diego… <strong>

Simon Williams, the ionic powerhouse Wonder Man, was flying to the scene of the fight Crisis and Hellstorm had. He saw Crisis and landed, asking,

"What happened?"

Satana said,

"Oh, just my brother going on his usual, overprotective tirade. There was a fight, an explosion, and now he's disappeared."  
>Leon said,<p>

"You don't seem that worried."

The red-headed succubus shrugged,

"Well, I am. I tried casting a locator spell, but it just seemed to fizzle. I have no idea where they are."

Simon shook his head,

"And, what were you two doing here?"

The red-eyed teen said,

"Well, I was here to buy Persiana a present."

Satana rolled her eyes,

"Seriously, Crisis. You should seriously drop the furball like dead weight. She's just too clingy, if you ask me."

Leon sighed,

"She is my girlfriend. I've explained this to Miss Marvel lots of time, and I stand by it."

The succubus brushed her hair back, frustrated,

"Whatever. Anyways, aren't the Avengers going to help me find them or what?"

Wonder Man asked,

"Excuse me?"

Satana said nonchalantly,

"Oh, come on. You don't expect to leave an innocent girl like me all alone, worrying about her brother, do you? You wouldn't be real heroes if you did."

Simon sighed,

"Fine, we'll look for your brother."

The sorceress cheered,

"Yay!"

She jumped into Leon's arms,

"Carry me back to your place."

Crisis said,

"Can't you just teleport there? You can do that, can't you?"

Satana pouted,

"But, you're so warm!"

Simon chuckled, while Leon shot him a glare,

"Don't laugh, Mr. Williams. You're going to have to explain to Pulsar why you agreed to go along with this."

At his, the actor blinked and shuddered,

"Oh, I am so dead."

Next Chapter:

Stay tuned for more insanity!


	3. Chapter 3

**Kidnapped!  
><strong>

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. _

Chapter 3: Explaining the Situation 

**In a decrepit basement… **

Hellcat and the Son of Satan were residing in two different cages. The feline-costumed girl looked up,

"Where am I?"

She then noticed Damion was unconscious in his cage. Patsy rattled the cage door,

"Hey! Let us out!"

A sinister voice chuckled,

"Now, now, my dear. Don't be afraid. I only kidnapped you to show you I love you!"

The red-headed young girl growled,

"Who are you?"

The voice only responded,

"Think of me as an admirer."

**Meanwhile… **

Farrah Willows, the feline Avenger girl Persiana, and Carol Danvers, the blonde Avenger powerhouse Miss Marvel, were in another one of their infamous arguments. Farrah hissed,

"Back off, Barbie! I saw it first!"

Carol stuck her tongue out,

"Blaah! Try going on a diet, furball. I'm surprised your fat ass can even fit into those skinny new jeans you're wearing."

The feline heroine reared her fangs and said,

"I'll say it again, Barbie; give me the chocolate syrup, and no one gets hurt."

Sam Wilson, the avian Avenger teen Falcon, and Hercules, the teen god of strength, were eagerly watching, waiting for the cat-fight to begin. Natasha Romanoff, the red-headed super spy Black Widow, rolled her eyes,

"Carol, just give Farrah the chocolate syrup. You know how much she likes to put that in her milk."

The blonde Air Force brat said,

"Why should I?"

Farrah reared her claws, snarling,

"If you don't, I'll tear your eyes out of their sockets and eat them!"  
>It looked to be a throw down until Crisis' hand picked up the chocolate syrup and placed it in front of Farrah. The cat-girl squealed,<p>

"Thank you, sweetie!"

She took it and began pouring it into her glass. There were groans coming from Falcon and Hercules as there was no fight.

Leon said,

"Hello."

Farrah instantly purred dreamily at her boyfriend, while Carol smiled,

"Hi, Leon."

Satana shook her head, completely disgusted,

"You two don't deserve him, you know."

At this, both the other girls whirled around and Farrah shouted,

"What are you doing here?"

Leon explained,

"Satana needs help finding her brother and his girlfriend. They went missing after Hellstorm and I went at it at the mall."

Carol blinked,

"Why were you there?"

The red-eyed teen shrugged,

"I was getting my girlfriend a present. Now, I think I'm banned from going because of that fight. It wasn't even my fault Damion came at me."

Satana nodded,

"He's right. My brother is insanely overprotective of me. He thinks I can't handle myself."

She looked at Farrah and rolled her eyes,

"You know, those jeans do make you look fat."

Farrah shot back,

"Go stuff your face, bitch! Leon is mine, and neither one of you can have him!"  
>At this, the argument escalated into a full blown out cat-fight between the three of them. Falcon cheered,<p>

"Catfight!"  
><strong>Elsewhere…<strong>

Pulsar and War Machine were listening to the report Simon had about Satana's missing brother and his girlfriend,

"And, that's the situation."

Rhody shook his head,

"I don't like it. Who would want to kidnap Damion Hellstorm and Hellcat?"  
>Monica shook her head,<p>

"I don't know, either. But, we are heroes, so we will have to investigate this. Where's Satana so we can talk to her?"

Just then, Satana and Miss Marvel came crashing through the wall, embroiled in a catfight. The light powered heroine held her head,

"Never mind."

Next Chapter:

Stay tuned for more insanity. And, maybe even more cat-fights!


	4. Chapter 4

**Kidnapped! **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. _

Chapter 4: The Kidnapper Revealed! 

Satana, Miss Marvel, and Persiana were all separated from each other. Farrah was curled around her boyfriend, while Satana was being held back by Falcon. Miss Marvel was being restrained by Hercules, and War Machine looked at them,

"Now, before I let you go, the three of you have to promise me that, until we find Satana's brother and his girlfriend, you aren't going to get into any more fights. Are we clear?"

There was a grumbling agreement between the three girls and they were let go. Immediately, Farrah stuck her tongue out,

"Blaah! He's mine, and you can't have him!"

Satana and Miss Marvel snarled and wanted to go for the white-haired lioness, but she immediately went behind Leon and curled up behind his back, smugly staring at her rivals.

Pulsar said,

"Now, can you tell us anything about the kidnapper?"

Satana shook her head,

"No, nothing. There was a big explosion, but when Leon and I got there, there were no bodies. It was as if they disappeared. I tried a locator spell, but it doesn't seem to work."

Simon suggested,

"Why don't we go back to the scene and see Persiana can pick up a scent?"  
>Carol smirked,<p>

"While she's at it, maybe she can pick up a flea collar too."

Farrah shouted,

"Say that to my face, Barbie!"

She wanted to throttle her rival, but Leon held her back,

"Farrah, this is not necessary."

Satana rolled her eyes,

"And it amazes me what he sees in her."

**Meanwhile… **

Hellcat tried prying her way out of the cage. The mysterious voice came again,

"Oh, no, Patricia. You mustn't escape yet."

Patsy growled,

"What? How do you know my name?"

She thought,

_Who is this guy? How does he know me? His voice is familiar to me somehow… _

It then occurred to her,

"No. It can't be."

The stranger emerged from the darkness. He was wearing a brown dog costume and had fangs in his teeth. He declared,

"Yes, it is I, Robert Baxter, the Mad Dog!"

Damion looked at her girlfriend,

"You know this guy?"  
>Patsy rolled her eyes,<p>

"My ex-boyfriend."

She shouted,

"Screw you, Buzz! I only have eyes for Damion now!"  
>Damion groaned,<p>

"Take her, please! I can't stand her!"

Hellcat shook her head,

"What? How can you say that? I thought you loved me!"  
>The Son of Satan was stunned,<p>

"What? When have I ever said that? You jump me every five seconds like you're a kid in a candy store! You constantly want attention and affection!"

Patsy shot back,

"Hey, I can't help it if I'm dressed like a cat! Besides, from where I'm sitting, I'm trying to figure a way out of this, and all you're doing is complaining!"

Damion sarcastically remarked,

"Well, excuse me! Maybe if I had known your psycho ex was coming after us, I would gladly gift wrapped you for him. Since you're both nuts, I can't seem to think of a reason why you two had broken up! You're both nuts!"

Mad Dog said,

"It wasn't-."

Both of the captors shouted,

"Shut up!"  
>Then, they went back to arguing. Hellcat shouted,<p>

"You're the one that I picked to be with, and all you do is complain!"

Damion raised his voice and, somehow, shot a hellfire bolt into the ceiling of the cage. The hellfire bolt went through the cage, through the ceiling, all the way into the sky.

Mad Dog groaned,

"This is the last time I buy a supposed magic cage from a guy off the street."

Next Chapter:  
>The cavalry comes to the rescue, but who is in need of rescuing? Stay tuned, fellow readers!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Kidnapped! **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. _

Chapter 5: Who are we Rescuing again? 

Satana's head whirled around, apparently sensing something,

"It's my locator spell. I know where they are!"

She teleported the West Coast Avengers to the site of an old, abandoned warehouse. The red-headed half-demon shook her head,

"This is it? Kind of lame, isn't it?"

Just then, there was a loud scream. Mad Dog was running for his life, being chased by Hellcat and the Son of Satan. Patsy was wielding an axe as she roared,

"BOB BAXTER, YOU BASTARD! YOU STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!"

Damion fired a hellfire bolt from his pitchfork weapon,

"DIE! KNOW THE WRATH OF THE SON OF SATAN!"  
>Leon blinked,<p>

"Uh, what's going on?"

Satana rolled her eyes,

"I should have known it was Mad Dog."

Persiana asked,

"Who's Mad Dog?"

Satana explained,

"Hellcat's ex-boyfriend."

Carol nodded,

"I get it now. He tried kidnapping Hellcat to be with her again."

Patsy swung the axe, almost hitting Mad Dog,

"STAND STILL AND DIE!"  
>Mad Dog screamed,<p>

"Help! You're supposed to be heroes! Help me! Save me!"

T'challa, the prince and hero Black Panther, said,

"Perhaps we should."

Farrah shook her head,

"Well, he did technically kidnap them and they did break out on their own."

Satana smirked,

"Just desserts if you ask me. I say we wait a few minutes and watch."

Leon rolled his eyes,

"And have Hellcat and Damion kill Mad Dog?"  
>Satana smiled wickedly,<p>

"No, just hurt him. A lot."

Mad Dog came up to War Machine and hid behind him,

"Please, I'll go to prison! It's much safer there! I can't be minced by her!"

Hellcat then turned to Damion,

"Now, what were you saying about letting him take me?"

Farrah winced,

"Oh, this is going to hurt."

Damion shot back,

"Oh, come on! Like you don't know! I bet you were just as bad with him as you were with me!"

Hellcat shot back,

"Well, EXCUSE me for being a little clingy."

The hellfire user quipped,

"Spiders have less cling than you, Patsy."

Patsy shouted,

"WHAT? HOW DARE YOU? I TRY TO BE A GOOD GIRLFRIEND AND HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH YOU, AND YOU TREAT ME LIKE DIRT!"  
>She huffed and turned her back to him. Damion scoffed,<p>

"Fine, be that way! I'm glad you and I aren't dating anymore! In fact, I'm so glad, I'm going to go out and celebrate!"

With that, he and Satana teleported away. Hellcat shook her head, sighing,

"I can't believe that jerk broke up with me!"

Mad Dog raised his hand,

"I'm available."

At this, Hellcat glared murderously at her other ex-boyfriend and shouted,

"Die!"

She tackled him and began beating him senseless. Rhody looked at the scene,

"So, does anyone else have anything to add?"

Leon wisely kept his mouth shut. Of course, Falcon opened his mouth,

"I'm single."

Hellcat looked up and snarled. The avian teen winced,

"Uh, maybe some other time."

Mad Dog wailed,

"PAIN! I AM IN TERRIBLE PAIN!"  
><strong>Later… <strong>

After depositing Mad Dog at the hospital, while he was in SHIELD custody, Hellcat was talking with the other West Coast Avengers about her next move. Patsy said,

"I need to get away for a while. I'm thinking about heading to New York or someplace. San Diego is reminding me way too much about my exes."

Black Widow smirked,

"You're always welcome here, Patsy."

Farrah added,

"It'd be nice to have another feline around."

Hellcat laughed,

"Yeah, but I have a guy I've been wanting to see in New York for a while. Heard he was a cutie."

**Two days later… **

There was a knock at the door of the Xavier Institute. Hank McCoy, the mutant Beast, opened the door,

"Salutations, dear friend."  
>He then noticed the hungry look Hellcat had on her face and Patsy squealed for joy.<p>

In another room, Sam Guthrie, the mutant Cannonball, was making out with Dani Moonstar, the mutant Mirage. Then, there was a loud squeal and, when both looked up, saw Beast running for his life, being chased by the crazed Hellcat. The Native American girl looked at the scene and asked,

"Who is that?"

Sam shrugged,

"New student, ah guess."

End of Kidnapped!


End file.
